Explaining it to the kids

Last night during and after dinner I explained to the kids in greater depth about praell and Hilmir and our roles.  I told them there were two kinds of slaves .. the good kind and the bad kind.  Of course, *I* am the good kind LOL.  Then I went on to tell them that the Vikings kept BOTH kinds of slaves.  Some people went to them specifically to be enslaved (for whatever reasons they had).  These voluntary slaves are called praell.  And that is what their mother is.

All three kids understand and (of course) think no less of me for what I am, nor of my Hilmir's role in my life.  That was my intent and I'm glad I reached it.

When we were done with the lessons I showed them my collar, which was made by a great lady in New York ( http://www.taobytyler.com/ ) who makes the most beautiful fetish equipment I have ever seen!  My collar is leather surrounded by purple silk.  It got "ohhhh"'s and "Ahhhhhh"'s LOL.

The kids can hardly wait for Hilmir to come and live with us!  I'm pretty excited about it myself!

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Alika Hadiya - Posting from the laptop
Owned by Bob Shaw since 1/1/10
http://praell-public.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Jarls_and_praells/   and     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheOwned/

Be careful what you wish for...

When I posted a rant at FetLife, I did not see how it could possibly hurt my Hilmir.  Over days, even weeks, I had read what I considered attacks against the kind of praell I was.  It was breaking me down and finally, as happens with me from time to time ... I snapped and retaliated.

Hilmir did not care for my delivery system.  In his way he told me that, in so many words, it made HIM look bad.  Of course, this wasn't my intent and when I realized it i cried.  hard.

It was the beginning of many hard crying days.  Realizing that I needed some kind of discipline and completely incapable of doing it on my own, I asked my Hilmir to go to a place we had initially decided we would not go.  Censorship.  Publishing censorship of my blogs and perhaps even a few emails.  He balked and I balked.  He even said "Forget it.".  But this was something I knew had to be done.

Many of my postings now go through my Hilmir.  Anything that mentions he and I or anything that might be controversial.  This post is going through him.  And this is the way I want it.  The way it has to be.

This has taught me many things.  Mostly it has taught me that I sacrifice things I need, but know I will balk over.  And that my Hilmir will take them from me because he loves me.  In the end ... we both know what I need.  Sometimes I know better.  Mostly he seems to.

--


Alika Hadiya - Posting from the laptop
Owned by Bob Shaw since 1/1/10
http://praell-public.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Jarls_and_praells/   and     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheOwned/

Dr Sadist

OK, this probably isn't the best thing to call my dentist, since I actually like the man, but my fear and loathing of dentists prevails every time, so that is what he's called in my deepest, darkest mind.


I have root canal today.  Actually it's more like toe completion of root canal, as Saturday we had to stop because of the pain of an infection in my tooth .. sighs.  Dr Sadist prescribed penicillin and I go back this morning to finish.


I've learned I am a lot of things.  A pain slut is NOT one of them LOL.  I have never experienced any good pain and I  have no desire to.  It flies in the face of science too much for me.


My alarm just went off.  Since I was up so late I set it so I could get roughly 8 hours of sleep, as Hilmir commands.  But I woke on my own around 6:30.  His training must be paying off LOL.


And so I sit and listen to Musiq Soulchild and try and relax for my appointment.  I will be biking there and back.  Heres to pain to end the pain?

--


Alika Hadiya - Posting from the laptop
Owned by Bob Shaw since 1/1/10
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheOwned/

A failure is ...

A failure is a non success that you did not learn from.

This is something my Hilmir gave me to recite as often as possible throughout the day. I have it memorized, but I still struggle with feeling like a failure sometimes.

We had our first fight last night. It wasn't as big as other fights I have had and I think that was because Hilmir insisted on communication throughout. There were a couple of MIScommunications throughout, but that is often the nature of IM conversations. Once we switched to voice
things got MUCH better!!

Now things are better! I learned a lot from our disagreement, not the least of which is that I continue to love my Hilmir and do not regret for a moment submitting myself to him. He owns all of me, which is right and proper for me. Of all the men who I have wanted to own me, he
is the best, as he is Dominant. Not Domineering, which I have had to deal with before, but Dominant.

When I was in my early 20's I SO wanted my first husband to be my Master and he tried his best, although at the time, neither of us realized what I was so desperately trying to get. Since then I have been trying and trying. Now I have an Owner and I am proud of my status as his praell!

Alika

Beginning the Journey!

I have asked Hilmir permission to begin this blog. It would be public
and anything potentially controversial would go into the private rant
blog that only he can view. Once he approves it, I would forward it
over to the public blog.

Now I have to be patient .... NOT my strong suit, but .... I'm working
on it, with Hilmir's help.

In the meantime, I can begin this, should my Hilmir give me permission
to have this blog.

The best place is probably with a small glossary, to help people realize
that Hilmir and I do not use the "usual" BDSM vocabulary LOL.

Hilmir is Old Norse for chief ... for us it means "Master"
praell is Old Norse for "slave" ... and of course for us it means "slave"

A few words on why we choose to use the word praell. The word 'slave'
has offended me for a long time. Maybe it is because I am African
American. That probably has something to do with it. In this
politically correct day and age everyone wants to say they don't see
color or race or sex. For me, that is an incredible insult *shrugs*. I
am proud of my heritage, so why are some people doing their damndest to
commit political genocide on countless races, cultures and religions?
Oh well.

In the Viking time, Norsemen did capture slaves, but many men and women
*volunteered* to be slaves. For me, I am the bound praell to my Hilmir
because he WON me. In a way he did capture me, but not at all in a bad way.

OK now a little history ...

I met my Hilmir in October of 2009. We were friends while I belonged to
another, who released me as soon as things in my life got tough. Hilmir
was there to protect me in the fragile place praells can find themselves
after being released in such a horrible way.

But, after Frank, I did not *want* a long distance Master. I wanted
someone local. Hilmir and I talked, cammed (non sexual for the most
part). When I realized I was falling in love with him, I cried. A
lot. because I wanted someone local and Hilmir lives in Kentucky!!!

I refused to submit and refused to submit and refused. On December 31,
around midnight I made it "official" I could not submit.

In the end, I submitted to my Hilmir on January 1, 2010.

He knew I would all along.

Which is why he is in charge LOL.

My Hilmir has made the decision to move here to California to be closer
to me, for which I am grateful. I will fly one last time to Kentucky
and he will drive us back. When I am with him again, it is his
intention to collar me to him.

I am honored beyond all praell!

Alika