Hilmir did not care for my delivery system. In his way he told me that, in so many words, it made HIM look bad. Of course, this wasn't my intent and when I realized it i cried. hard.
It was the beginning of many hard crying days. Realizing that I needed some kind of discipline and completely incapable of doing it on my own, I asked my Hilmir to go to a place we had initially decided we would not go. Censorship. Publishing censorship of my blogs and perhaps even a few emails. He balked and I balked. He even said "Forget it.". But this was something I knew had to be done.
Many of my postings now go through my Hilmir. Anything that mentions he and I or anything that might be controversial. This post is going through him. And this is the way I want it. The way it has to be.
This has taught me many things. Mostly it has taught me that I sacrifice things I need, but know I will balk over. And that my Hilmir will take them from me because he loves me. In the end ... we both know what I need. Sometimes I know better. Mostly he seems to.
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Slave Siggy
Alika Hadiya - Posting from the laptop
Owned by Bob Shaw since 1/1/10
http://praell-public.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Jarls_and_praells/ and http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheOwned/
Alika Hadiya - Posting from the laptop
Owned by Bob Shaw since 1/1/10
http://praell-public.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Jarls_and_praells/ and http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheOwned/
I think this would be good for you, since yes you do sometimes tend to get all...hmmm...what's the word I'm looking for...well...for lack of a better word angry and flustered all at the same time. Which makes you go on the attack, without first carefully considering your words. Not that that is a totally bad thing, little sister, it means you have great passion. But I think, and this is just my humble opinion on the situation, that until you feel safe and loved you do need a bit of restraint put on your published words. You have had to fight on your for every inch for so long that you cannot see the forest for the trees now.
ReplyDeleteRemember that song my dearest reminded us of not too long ago.."the greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love and be loved in return."